Vote Your Heart Out: Is ‘Hard French’ the Best Party in San Francisco?

GayCities and Coors Light are in the final stages of promoting a three-month voting contest to determine which events, sports teams and personalities deserve to be declared the “coldest…” (brrrrain freeze).

In San Francisco, Hunky Jesus in Dolores Park, DJ Haute Toddy, The Fog rugby team and Cookie Dough have already been voted as the winners. When it came to selecting nominees for the Night Out category, we knew the contest wouldn’t be taken seriously by GayCities members unless we included the perennial powerhouse of a party, Hard French.

The other nominees include Heklina’s Trannyshack, Juanita More’s Beat Pig, Bearracuda and I Love Cochina Tonga’s. The Stanley Frank/Ambrosia Salad/DJ Taco Tuesday bastard newcomer underdog is nominated solely because anyone trying to make the Lookout cool deserves the equivalent of a Nobel Peace Prize. And if it had been entirely up to me (ok, it kind of was…), I would have also nominated Cockfight and Honey Soundsystem.

Voting closes Tuesday at midnight, so go and vote your hearts out. (Don’t live in SF? The contest is also going on in LA, San Diego, Columbus and Dallas, check it out).

I don’t know these people.

Devil worshippers.

GayCities has had a torrid love affair with Hard French ever since we sponsored the party’s first foray in New York City with director John Cameron Mitchell.

[Photos: Shots in the City]

BOY TOYS TALK BACK: What is the most iconic gay party ever?

Show Me Your Amplifier: GLAAD and GayCities Celebrate Gay Advertising

Last week I got to spend some time in New York City! GayCities teamed up with GLAAD to sponsor the silent auction at their annual Amplifier Awards at XL Lounge. I was there to make sure things went according to plan. Above with The Six Pack’s Dave Rubin, GayCities CEO Scott Gatz and Queerty editor Dan Avery. Read the Queerty story for a full list of all them other hoes who were there.

The funnest part of the night is that I got to hang out with my on-the-ground help buddies Alex Goldschmidt, Tom Samph and Jon Cooper. The boys were personally recruited by me to… um, stand there and look pretty.

The GayCities dream boats got to talk to drag queens, Real Housewives and media/advertising homos about why GayCities and Queerty together make a huge impact in our community. Check out the card for the event designed by Kurt Thomas.

Party in the front.

Business in the back.

And then Alex got to go up close and personal with Aviva Drescher! (Whom I had never really heard of until that night, what can I say? I stopped caring post-Bethenny Frankel). Fun fact: If you Google search ANY of the Real Housewives, it auto-suggests “net worth” afterwards, and I’m pretty sure it’s because they’re all anxiously researching each other to see what the wealth hierarchy is going to be in the upcoming season.

Photos: JJ Keyes

BOY TOYS TALK BACK: I’m coming back to New York sooner than you think! And to throw a big event like you wouldn’t believe! Where are some good gay-friendly NY clubs/bars/hotels/venues/event spaces to have a memorable party? Real Housewives appearance fee not included.

Somebody Alert the Authorities, I Got Criminal Intent

Fag Fridays at Public Works, 2010.

San Francisco’s Most Absurd Pride Party Ever

While most of my friends were striking a pose at Juanita More’s double-venue Pride party at 620 Jones and The Phoenix or dancing eccentric to Hard French DJs at SOMArts, I settled for paying no cover at Rebel, my friendly neighborhood after-hours gay club.

Luckily and unbeknownst to us, Pollo Del Mar had a full-blown drag show planned that day while people mingled in the back patio next to a kiddie pool. On that sunny Sunday, Rebel attracted a wild variety of folks, all seeking a quick fix refuge en route from the Civic Center to the Castro. The drag queens were fierce, the crowd was incredibly eclectic and the overall atmosphere was joyous. It was one of the most fun I’ve had at the club. Just goes to show that sometimes the best experiences in life are the ones you blindly stumble upon.

Girls Gone Wilde

Pollo took some time to address the fact that there was an undressed woman in the crowd.

Femmes simulate cunnilingus on the pole before the drag show starts.

Drag-a-pallooza

I’d love this bitch Jenna Talia to be my personal trainer.

Christina Aguilera took some time out of her none busy schedule to waggle her hand at us via Megan Pixel.

Becky Motorlodge showed up as Lady Gaga singing a Nicki Minaj song before transforming into…

Marilyn!

Peek-a-boo! I see The Princess from RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Dollar makes her holler.

Strike a Pose

Pollo makes her teenage slaves wear her merchandise.

“Are you sure this is the Sierra Club member’s brunch, Meredith?”

Straight high schoolers from Orinda reveling in the fact there was no bouncer checking ID’s at the door.

Hottie Alert

It’s Cody! Only the best bartender in the city.

WTF?

Only in San Francisco do you see a nude woman in sailor accessories dancing with a man in a trenchcoat and lingerie. I felt like I was in one of Stefon’s favorite nightclubs from SNL’s Weekend Update.

GayCities Launch Party: How I Almost Got Kicked Out of Badlands

Have you ever wondered where the party is at? I’m kind of picky as to which bars and clubs I patron. I like to do my extensive research before a night out to make sure I’m not going to waste my time and money. The problem is I don’t trust the management (smokin’ hot party gallery) or the masses (Yelp.com) and most places won’t let you take a sneak peek at the scene unless you cough up the cover.

That’s what I like about the new GayCities iPhone application (disclosure: I’m a contributor at GayCities.com). A hybrid between Grindr and Foursquare – this app let’s you “check-in” at any of the gay-friendly establishments all over the world and “check-out” other members who are at the same venue, ordering a drink or dancing in a cage.

A couple of weeks ago, the co-founders of the gay travel site/social network threw a launch party to reveal the new application at Trigger. Using the club’s video projection system, they were able to broadcast the usernames and profile photos of the people “checking-in” to the party. I’m sworn to secretly not to reveal anything else – but this software opens up crazy opportunities to make our nights out in the gayborhood more… memorable.

Speaking of memorable nights: after the launch party at Trigger (open bar provided by Blue Angel Vodka), two friends and I stumbled out down Castro to Badlands. Why? Did I mention the open bar? Badlands was… bad. Crowded, foreign, creepy. And rude! Walking toward the exit, this really tall guy got bumped into and poured his drink all over me. From top to bottom, I felt it in slow motion. Immediately, I tapped him on the shoulder to voice my complaint. All I wanted was an apology. But Rudeboy tried to brush me off by offering to buy me a drink. So I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to the bar, and ordered the drink he was going to buy for me.

Of course, they don’t serve St. Germain cocktails at Badlands, so then I ordered, “THE MOST EXPENSIVE DRINK YOU CAN MAKE ME!” But when I turned around, I noticed that Rudeboy had fled! So I walked up to his much shorter friend and dropped my heavy hand on his shoulder, “I’m not letting you go until we find your friend.” A stumpy guy in those horrible green Badlands shirts approached us and I don’t really remember what happened, just that he looked really scared and felt the need to tell me to “cool it off.” I just wanted an apology!

But noooo! I’m the crazy one. Whatever happened to decency in this town?

Photos: Jon Rivera