Sometimes Sunny San Francisco Can Be a Cold, Cold Place

Longtime readers of this blog may recall I’ve had some highs and lows at the GLAAD Media Awards. Last year, Denys got to meet his girl crush, Dianna Agron. The year prior, however, Kim “I Take Myself Way Too Seriously” Cattrall scolded me on the red carpet for asking for her blowjob tips. You win some, you lose some…

This year, I’ve been so busy planning the photo stations at the GLAAD Awards after-parties in all 3 cities, that I was only going to attend the awards in San Francisco to make sure the photo station did not catch on fire.

Then I found out that Kyle Richards was going to make an appearance!

Not only that! But she was going to be auctioned off for a one-on-one!

Even though I have a usual scorn for reality TV, I’ve been obsessed with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills since the first dinner party from hell. How can I not be bananas over the show? Just check out the chilly promo trailer below with all the ice queens in glam action.

And as it turns out, the new Queerty editor (and Ryan Murphy’s ex) Jeremy Kinser needs a gallivant SF reporter to cover the event and interview the celebrities on the red carpet.

I mean, what else was I going to be doing on a Saturday night?

Yes, I’m going to have to sit through the long ass dinner.

At least there’s an open bar…

But Denys is going to get all awkward and starstruck next to all those celebrities…

And in front of all them A-gays, I will have to act like an adult…

Get all dressed up for the occasion…

Mingle, mingle, kiss, kiss…

And it’s been such a long time since I’ve attended a social event of this magnitude. But I think…

Although it’s going to be hard to keep my cool.

Then I think: do I even have what it takes anymore?

Maybe I just shouldn’t drink…

Wait a minute! What’s with all this fucking complaining?! You know how many people would like to have the opportunity?

Just show up and do your goddamn job!

Remember, if you’re not at the table, then you’re probably on the menu. So take your seat!

Be yourself and everything will be fine.

Just think: What Would Kyle Richards Do?

GIFs: RealityTVGifs

My Boyfriend Has a Crush on Dianna Agron

On Saturday Denys and I spent all afternoon at the Marriott for the annual GLAAD Media Awards. For those of you who may not know him, Denys is kind of shy… so as soon as Glee‘s Dianna Agron approached us on the red carpet he got so excited at the fact that he was standing mere feet away from his girl crush you could almost hear his tiny little heart pounding out of control. Unable to contain himself with all the erratic energy, he did what any starstruck gay boy would have done: hid behind a velvet rope away from the celebrity walk-way.

As soon as Dianna got near me, I pointed towards where Denys was standing and told her about how my boyfriend had a huge crush on her but was too shy to step anywhere near her. Dianna smiled and shouted for Denys to come closer. Without second guessing, Denys awkwardly tripped his way back to the red carpet and tah dah! We took a photo together.

During the dinner we heard from Dianna, who was hosting the whole event, who spoke passionately about her gay timeline. It all started with her first Pride experience in San Francisco and how now that she lives around the block from The Abbey about 70% of her friends are gay. Dianna also took a page from Naya Rivera’s hosting gig last year (click here to watch my interview with Naya then) and auctioned off a steamy kiss. Only to be outdone by Rita Moreno, who auctioned off an entire evening for 8 people to spend at her home.

Backstage, Dianna entertained Jen Tyrrell’s kids with light-sabers and signed a petition to reinstate Tyrrell, an openly lesbian former Cub Scout leader. Speaking of Boy Scouts well-raised by lesbians, Zach Wahls was also in attendance. He spoke of his new project, Out to Dinner. YouTube hottie Wahls is hoping to recruit straight ally couples to host a dinner party with a gay couple and a straight on-the-fence-about-gay-marriage couple in efforts to convert over wine.

As the photos indicate, Adam Pally from Happy Endings and MSNBC anchor Thomas Roberts were also in attendance.

BOY TOYS TALK BACK: Do you have a celebrity girl crush? Who is it? And what would you do if you had the opportunity to meet her?