Sexting with Friends: The Technology and Art of Getting Laid

Technology moves at lightning speed, putting the world (of dating) at our fingertips and giving suitors a more efficient means of getting ROI on their efforts. Just think of the effort it takes to call someone and set up a date — getting up the balls, figuring out what you are going to say, doing it, then following through on the plan. Or you can group text 3 people you are “talking to” simultaneously and see who’s up for a night cap at your place…

– From a Techromance article on a 2011 study suggesting that texting and Facebook get people under the covers faster than ever.

And with new apps and social services like Bang with Friends, Tinder and MeetMoi, the technology that facilitates getting laid is getting more efficient.

Press: ‘Bay Area Reporter’ on My ‘Queer Sex & Tech’ Panel Appearance

The BAR sent a wonderful writer to cover the hooking up panel in which I participated this summer at the GLBT History Museum. I had the honor of speaking next to historian Martin Meeker and Berkeley professor Juana Maria Rodriguez (who is my soul sister after writing “Confessions of a Latina Cyberslut” hello!)

Reporter Peter Hernandez (a self-affirmed “boy toy” fan) wrote:

“You can get a blowjob as easy as you can get a pizza delivered,” said Oscar Raymundo, the youngest panelist and blogger at Queerty and GayCities.com. He offered a critical perspective on Grindr and Scruff, criticizing the rapid growth of virtual hook-up websites seen in developments like Grindr’s recent expansion to 100 employees, and questioning the legitimacy of online dating.

Raymundo also read from his upcoming novel titled Confessions of a Boy Toy, in which a forebodingly-titled biotech app called Stalkr replaces Grindr, and in which physical connections are often limited to a handshake that grades the romantic chemistry between two people.

The importance of “living in the moment” and embracing the tangible, physical world seeped into each panelist’s musings…

Read the entire story at eBar.

Excerpt: Exactly What He Means

It’s starting to get really hot in the dungy Parisian club, and I can feel my shirt sticking to my sweaty back. The boys and I go over to the bar to order another round. He turns to me and says something in French, something he knows I won’t understand. The sentence is too complex, and the vocabulary is nothing they’d teach me in college. But maybe it’s his body language, how he got closer to me with every syllable uttered, or his facial expressions, how his eyebrows rose with excitement after certain words, or his eyes, how he looked at me and then down at my jeans. I may not understand what he says, but I know exactly what he means.

Excerpt, Confessions of a Boy Toy

Photo: Gerard Estadella

Event: ‘Queer Sex and Tech’ Panel at the GLBT History Museum

This Thursday, July 26, I will take part in a conversation about how gays have always been creative and resourceful in the art of hooking up. The event is being organized by the GLBT History Museum in the Castro and promises to be very interesting. More from the event:

From phone numbers on bathroom walls to posts on Facebook walls, GLBT people have found creative ways to use technology to facilitate hooking up, whether for an hour or a lifetime. This intergenerational conversation about the devices and tactics queer men and women have used to find sexual and romantic connections is the first installment in The GLBT History Museum’s new Making History Now series.

The panelists include historian Martin Meeker, author of Contacts Desired: Gay and Lesbian Community and Communications, 1940s-1970s, queer theorist Juana Maria Rodriguez, associate professor of gender and women’s studies at Berkeley and author of Queer Latinidad: Identity Practices, Discursive Spaces… and me! I will be sharing my expertise on Grindr, GuysWithiPhones and the meaning behind getting poked on Facebook. Hope you can join us!

Queer Sex and Technology: Thursday, July 26 from 7pm to 9pm at the GLBT History Museum (4127 18th Street, San Francisco).

Excerpt: Risky Behavior

“Have you engaged in any risky sexual behaviors lately?” Billy asked.

“Doesn’t all sex come with a risk?” Wilde had a point. He had learned that not every risk involving sex manifested itself physically, diagnosable by a blood test. Some risks compromised things closer to the core.    

Excerpt, Confessions of a Boy Toy